Every family has a set of rules they follow, and every family member has roles that they play in the family. Each family's set of rules and roles are unique to their family. Some are spoken, like the roles of mother and father, others are unspoken like the rule that when someone is talking you listen to them and don't interrupt. These roles and rules affect the family's and individual family members' behavior. There is a certain balance of roles and rules that is called the homeostasis of the family. For most families they have a relatively positive homeostasis environment, but there is always something the family could be working on to make their family environment a more positive atmosphere. For example a family might struggle with members thinking negatively about themselves or others in their family. An unspoken family rule might be that it's okay to think or say negative things about oneself or others. This negative thinking might be causing strain on the family environment and there needs to be some change. The family can then work together to overcome this habit or "rule" that isn't helping their family.
My Husband and I are currently working on not thinking negatively about ourselves so we've set up some spoken rules to help us better understand our roles as wife, husband, daughter, and son of God. Some of our rules are that we aren't allowed to say degrading comments about ourselves to each other, another is that every day we will write down one thing we love about ourselves and the other person somewhere we can both see it. Another rule is that we will say family and personal prayers. Through these rules we can strengthen our relationship with ourselves and with God. Because we believe our relationship is like a triangle. God at the head, and us equally yoked at the bottom. As we both move closer to our Heavenly Father we become closer, and have a more sure foundation for our marriage.
I challenge you to discuss as a family what you could be working on to strengthen your relationship. Then make a plan, come up with some family rules that will help you strengthen your family relationship. Discuss your individual roles and how they can help you strengthen your family.
Thanks for sharing Megan. We have just recently discovered the idea of love languages. Each person gives and receives love in their language. There are 5 different types: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. Knowing our family members top love language can help us to show that person's love. We have now included this in our roles as members of our family. We also found that many of us need words have affirmation, so the unspoken rule of "if you can't say anything nice,then don't say anything at all," is now a spoken rule. And it it's spoken quite often. Lol
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Megan. We have just recently discovered the idea of love languages. Each person gives and receives love in their language. There are 5 different types: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. Knowing our family members top love language can help us to show that person's love. We have now included this in our roles as members of our family. We also found that many of us need words have affirmation, so the unspoken rule of "if you can't say anything nice,then don't say anything at all," is now a spoken rule. And it it's spoken quite often. Lol
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